So it’s a little further into the season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I have to admit it’s still a pretty good show. I know I skipped a few, but this episode was particularly entertaining so I thought I’d make you all read about it. There were a lot of storylines crammed into this episode so I’m going to focus on the best one, the Birthday Party Wars.
Today we find resident housewife/social climber Taylor Armstrong planning her four year old daughter, Kennedy’s (pretty sure that’s a last name) 4th birthday party. Because, as Taylor says, 4 is the age where every little girl should have a huge $60,000 party. Yeah that’s right, this party costs 60,000 dollars. But I digress.
According to Taylor, four is also the age where every girl should get a big piece of jewelry, even though most aren’t mature enough to appreciate it. So Taylor frolics off to her personal Beverly Hills jeweler and gets her daughter a pink sapphire Barbie necklace, herself a yellow sapphire one, and 25 silver ones as party favors for the guests. You know 6,000 dollars worth of jewelry, no big deal.
The game plan for Taylor’s kid’s partay is to make it a “Mad as a Hatter (that’s a nailpolish) Tea Party” theme. I’m going to assume she means Alice in Wonderland. This soiree includes flower arrangements, $6,000, party site (Houdini Estate, pretty sure I had my fourth birthday at Chuckee Cheese), $29,000, party planner, $12,000, the kid’s bored reaction when arriving at the party, priceless, but we’ll talk about that later. This party also includes alcohol for the 35 adult guests. What the kids are actually supposed to do at this party is not clarified.
While Taylor’s wallet throws up all over Beverly Hills, Kyle Richards, housewife, is at home planning her 2 year old daughter Portia’s birthday party, which is scheduled for the same day as Taylor’s party. SCANDAL. Kyle’s party planner decides that they should keep the party them classic princess, because “everyone is doing Alice and Wonderland these days” (see above). This party includes a choochoo train, a bouncy thing, and a petting zoo. Kyle says most Beverly Hills parties are over the top and geared more for adults, so she tries to keep it kid-friendly. YOU GO KYLE.
The day of the dueling parties has finally arrived. First we go to Taylor’s. She arrives and wonders where her daughter is. A strangely dressed nanny delivers small, scared-looking blonde child who never smiles. Taylor asks her if she likes the party décor. The child cries. Taylor also tries to take pictures with the kid, but she refuses. Not one to turn down a photo op, Taylor puts on a hot pink top hat, stands on top of the party table and gets some poor man named Grey to take pictures of her. Oh dear God. All the adults get tipsy while some people dressed like fairies dance around with a bunch of sad-looking children.
Meanwhile, Kyle, who says she has “lost sleep over this party”, is getting ready for her party guests to arrive. It looks like the people who are attending this party are under the age of 30, unlike at Taylor’s. She says although her kid won’t remember this party, everyone else will and it was a family event. This party actually looks like it’s for kids. Nice family moments include Kyle’s Spanish husband singing happy birthday in Spanish and Kyle freaking out at her sister for arriving late.
Kyle came out the winner of this birthday party war, due to her actual consideration of the fact that it’s a kid’s party, unlike Taylor, who invited more adults than kids and made the whole event about her. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills can be watched Thursday nights at ten. ENJOY FOLKS.